There is a desire that arises in the human form which is stronger than all other desires, of which all other desires are but a watered down version. This desire is the desire to be desire-less, to be utterly absent of the arising energy that is experienced as desire. As a young child we were desire-less but this original natural state was lost when we had the idea of time implanted in our mind by the adults around us. We were taught that another moment, which in truth does not exist, contained more than the present moment in which we were present and a sense of lack arose within what was essentially a full and complete experience. From then on we lost the absence of desire that up until that point had accompanied us at all times and became strangers to our natural state.
There is therefore also a conflict with this desire to be absent of desire as it involves the death of the one that is presently imagined to be what one is. The one that we truly are is complete and ever present but the one that we imagine our self to be is by its very nature incomplete and must remain so if it is survive. This one lives in the imagined past or future as an image in the mind that it holds of itself. What we desire the most is the absence of our self as this imagined separate being for as this one there is always conflict and suffering. These things are present because separation is not actually true of us and until this one that we imagine our self to be drops away the discomfort present in this concept remains.
This is the plight of the ego, the imagined one, its deepest desire is to die to the illusion of itself and be free, for intuitively every human being knows that freedom means being free from the illusion that one is a separate individual. True freedom is freedom from the imagined individual, it is not freedom for the individual.
When the ego concept is held to be true this desire is paramount as there is the suffering in each and every moment of one’s life experience of the illusion that one holds of oneself.
Although one can fool others into believing that true happiness or enlightenment has taken place one cannot fool oneself for there will be a sense of something lacking in ones moment to moment experience . What is felt as lack is the absence of the wholeness which was present in childhood before the fall into apparent separation took place.
It is this sense of lack which gives rise to seeking. This seeking continues to take place in each and every human form until this sense of separation disappears when it is seen that the imagined one is not an actual entity but simply just another activity arising in consciousness, another thought appearing.
The I or me that is imagined to be what we are is an illusion, an idea, and as such is never safe, it is always under threat from the ever changing circumstances that it finds itself in and so for this one life is fearful. This one seeks comfort and security in each and every moment, it is always looking for a better constructed image of itself in its desire to be something.
The truth is that we are not a something but this within which the something makes its appearance. We are the subject not the object, the witness of the image and not that image itself. As this witness we are ever present and unchanging, unlike that which is witnessed which is ever changing and different in each moment. As the imagined one we are always in the becoming process but as the one that we truly are we are simply Being, ever present and timeless.
When being-ness is recognized to be the truth of oneself then there is again wholeness with no sense of being something or someone and it is seen that this absence of any image is actually the eternal presence, one’s true nature. Within this presence all that appears does so as One and this One-ness is one’s Self.